phew i just finished. and the game is only 62% done. oof. the last mission i literally spent forever on, because i kept on dying and losing all my good weapons. it took forever. but i just had to step away from it and watch national treasure and turistas and go back to it and i did it first try.
here are my thoughts:
1. wow. a lot of people worked on this game. you should see the wall of text that follows this game. more people worked on this game than built the pyramids. as i was watching credits i found the following famous people: daddy yankee, iggy pop, mc paul barman, chelsea peretti, bill hader, jason sudeikis, fred armisen, karl lagerfeld. and kat williams and ricky gervais, obviously were in it. the coolest name in the credits though was at the end when it said, special thanks to timbaland and something something and then JENNIFER JUSTICE! my lawyer was almost the last name in the credits. i was all woo-hoo! then i was like, hey wait a minute why wasnt i on the sound track! put me in ur gamz plz.
2. i totally thought it was 100 percent plot not sixty two, so when it started to wrap up i was like, that’s it? i never met tons of the characters i see on billboards. maybe ur not supposed to. everytime i’d see a billboard or an ad in nyc id always say, i haven’t even gotten to that guy yet. so the story is way shorter. or i played it wrong. i felt like letting dwayne live didn’t pay off. killing the irish cop felt like the right choice, and the shootout at the funeral was awesome. i hope my funeral has a shoot out.
3. i wanted to end up with michelle. maybe i didn’t date her enough and you can bring her to the wedding if you play your cards right. i thought kate was a definite downgrade. and hey, i’m wearing a suit, can you put on a dress? how can these girls give my clothes shit when they don’t change once? lame. and boy was kate ug. it’s funny with a game like this they only make whores look good. and kate never put out. did i just play that wrong? one of my favorite parts is when i took her out on date two and we went out for darts and before i knew it i was at the beer garden in astoria. i pulled into it on my scooter, it was kinda bad ass. there were tons of moments that made me think cool, it’s like nyc: like seeing chelsea piers at the end, stumbling across lincoln center, the sugar factory down the street from me.
4. the story was eh. i mean the final confrontation is all in another language without subtitles. it kinda gets played down. and then we kinda limp across the finish line. why am i after this pegrino in the end? are there multiple endings? basically meeting bosses and going on four jobs and meeting a new boss halfway through gets kinda old after the twentieth time. but that’s the game.
5. what happened to that daughter of the mob boss that was on meth, or the biker gang, i felt like i was gonna see the lost one last time or something, but i felt like that didn’t pay off.
6. i liked the ulp and assassin missions best. i guess that’s when i was most interested.
7. i actually thought i’d see way more of the city but some missions started repeating locations. i guess i have to go explore that other 38 percent. tons of jumps and pigeons to find.
8. i kept my hospital scrubs on for a while and became dr. death. i always just walked up to my victims then took out my AK. i think i liked the turtleneck best. wish you could’ve worn shades in the game. i liked all the steve mcqueen, mod throwbacks. this game could’ve taken place in the late sixties, well parts could’ve.
9. during the credits i noticed that lady liberty is holding a starbucks cup and there are two pigeons on it. i hear there’s a heart inside of her too that you can find if you jump out of helicopter and onto her head.
10. it really is a great game. there’s a million little details to describe, but i liked it a lot. i liked that they gave you so much money in that bank heist. i liked that you could score some pretty tricked out future cars. i took cabs mostly because i was so loaded and it sped the game up. i hated driving really. i liked when the city got all misty and foggy. i loved it when it rained. i felt bad for the hot dog vendors.
11. the game was a lot like my life. i raced to the end and didn’t make time for friends and therefore lost their respect. 
12. i did like four assassin missions in a row that were supposed to be chases, but i’d just get out of my car and rpg those bitches. cartastrophe!
13. where are parachutes?
14. where are jetpacks?
15. where is the zombie?
16. so i didn’t like the story all that much, i didn’t get certain plot lines, like the diamonds, the resolution was murky. who hates me why? some parts of the plot i kinda missed. and some things like the lost didnt resolve itself. and it was kinda homophobic, kinda like how they say no black people worked on re5, i don’t think any gay people worked on gta4. every different persuasion of people is treated pretty rough though, so i guess i can’t be picky. it’s funny how they really want to impress upon you that neko wants to be good and isnt just a serial killer. like there’s inner turmoil there to make it ok. even though you end up killing hundreds of people. the whole “i wanted out and then you killed my girl that i went on two dates with that never changed her clothes and never put out” is kinda bullshits. i dunno. character motivations were not exactly justified. but fuck it. it’s the best game of the year. it’s modern crime fantasy where you can do whatever the hell you can think of. it’s a blessing for our gaming imaginations and we should all pay our respects with 100 percents!
17. now i’m exhausted, my hand hurts, well my right thumb. i feel like i havent walked or moved my body enough recently. i hope it stops raining so i can walk all over tomorrow. i have my show at the ucb. and i’m seeing speed racer. should be a hootsplosion.
18. PLEASE REPLY IN BLOG OR I WILL TAKE OUT ALL YOU SUCKERS WITH JUST A BASEBALL BAT!!! KPLAO! IN UR FACE! NOW YOU GOT WOODEN TEEFS.
