Welcome back.
So it comes time for Router, Doc, and myself to take the stage. We’ve never performed with each other before so we only had a vague idea of what to expect. Doc and I started off with The Sound and that went well…and then the iPod fucked up on the soundboard in the back. I raced upstairs to fix it while Doc and Router tried to vamp. Some other people went on stage too but I was too busy to worry about it. The sound guy didn’t know what was wrong and neither did I, thankfully PC Speaker of the Futuristic Sex Robotz was there and is an iPod expert so he said try resetting it and that worked out really well. Router’s song started and we were back on track.
We’re doing our songs and having a good time, and when people know a song they rush the stage and we’re happy folks. However, during Router’s song 8Bitch things turned ugly. On the car ride up I would call Router by the very original and hilarious nickname of Rooter which she didn’t take kindly to. Here’s the thing, I love nicknames. I love getting them almost as much as I love giving them, so I liked calling Router Rooter, Boots, Router-Rooter, and Routerlicious. I think she warmed up to it over the trip, but that first day she wasn’t having it and told me she’d get me back. Cut back to the lull during the song 8Bitch where Router looks at me all happy and I smile back, she then contorts her hand into what she refers to as “The Cobra†and proceeds to strike my junk. I doubled over, she laughed and continued her song, and I heard a collective gasp from the audience. As I’m burly a man, I was able to walk it off and continue the show like a champ but had to keep an eye out for evil Router. When we got off stage some people had asked me if that was staged, and with a tear rolling down my chubby cheek I would respond with a sheepish, “no…†FSR went on and didn’t do as many songs as I thought they would. Still rocked out though.
We took some pics while there…
I’m Karl’s Whitesican friend.
Selling merch makes me horny
Nursehella and Boots got into a fight
After doing some Router-Wrangling we were back on our way to Kenshin’s so we could get some sleep. The plan was to meet up with St. Cameraman so he could take some kick ass pics of us at a place called Gasworks in Seattle. When I think of Gasworks, I think of the club in Wayne’s World where Wayne meets Cassandra. Turns out in Seattle Gasworks is like a park with a bunch of shit that looks like it came out of Final Fantasy VI or VII.
So I found out that Kenshin has animals and I was without my allergy meds. I couldn’t sleep all night. Around 4:30am I had enough and decided to get up and do something. I thought about hitting up the internets when I made a shocking discovery…I had left my laptop at the club! I jetted to my car and hit up the nearest store. Turns out Safeway and Wallgreens can lick my balls for not having a phonebook (or at least employees who aren’t too lazy to get one for me. I do or have done their job, it isn’t that fucking hard guys.) but the local Exxon knows how to treat Beefy. It took me a while to understand what the dude was saying, but I eventually located the giant yellow book and searched for the Columbia City Theatre. Naturally no one was there at 4 or 5 in the morning, but thankfully they did have an answering machine. (And answering machine by the way that said our names in it, which made my stressed out ass a little happy) I left a detailed message about what I had left, where it was, and how I could be reached. I then had to play the waiting game. Went back to Kenshin’s and I still couldn’t sleep. I just kept on sneezing and needing to blow my nose so I got up again and left for my car. I thought I might have a shot of getting a few winks in the passenger seat of Cynthia and I was right. The only downside is that I probably looked like a bum to random passersby, but I’m from the streets so fuck you, what of it?
Woke up and went back inside before anyone was awake. Hung out until the Mediocre Tour came back to life and explained the laptop situation. None of us were happy about the idea of having to go back to that evil evil theatre, but I wasn’t going to leave my laptop, and as I’m the driver they could all suck me. Thankfully they were cool and I wasn’t forced to kill anyone…yet. We called up Ryan and made our way to Gasworks. Got a little lost but not too badly and we made it there before Ryan. The group got all kinds of whiny about being hungry and not wanting to take pics (Mind you taking pics was not my idea. Ryan and I could do that shit anytime) so I had to walk away from em for a little bit. I told em I was on an important phone call, when in actuality I was just talking to Amy. While on top of a hill Doc left this piece of art on Cynthia…
Ya see, one of the many inside jokes on the tour is that Doc likes to mock the chorus of my song Nerdcore For Life for repeating the word “life.†He says I rhyme life with life, when in actuality I rhyme the word gig with life, something I don’t even understand but I think it still works. Fuck you, what of it? So yeah, Doc did that before Ryan showed up. St. Cameraman arrived and it was business time. Not all sexy like Flight of the Conchords business time, but still a little sexy. We took a shit load of pics that you can see on the our MySpaces and probably elsewhere soon. Had lunch at some bullshit “pizza†place. I was not a fan. Pizza should be delicious, not…whatever that shit was.
This bores me. More later.
