the truth is i’m kicking every other rapper like me’s ass up and down the boardwalk. i only like one and will say his name quite happily. jesse dangerously. he’s good. the rest suck. that’s hard to say and i havent said it before because some of these people are my fans, some are my friends. but i cant stand the music, i hate being associated with it, it doesn’t serve my career and it only makes me want to drink, die, quit or d: all of the above. because the best way i can say this is, i’ve built a house and it took ten years to build it and i just finished it and i want to take a picture of myself in front of it. just before the camera goes off someone steps in the frame and says, me too, i built this house too. i worked all those years. i made all those sacrifices.
they didn’t, they just think it’s a dope house and they want to live in it too. people that want access to accolades they have no right to are cheaters. they don’t want to do the work, they don’t want to wait, they just want to win, tomorrow. there are some people that think that cant have a career unless it’s tethered to mine and they’re right. i wish they’d leave me alone. i wish the press didnt turn out to be a bunch of lemmings that doesn’t mind insulting their subjects, because they think in generalizations, in categories. no one wants to know about me. they want to know about my movement. my genre.
i dont have a movement i have fans and i love rapping with them, and then they buy my tshirts and i pay my rent with that money and i make more music and we do it all over again, and we like that arrangement. i dont need to become a huge major label hot shit. i need to be allowed to work in peace, without coattail riders, or press angles or whatever the fuck kinda lame bullshit that is happening to me every day this tour. if my hard drive isnt dying its my external, then there’s my hand getting smashed in the van door and puke all over my shirts. i’m just about to go looney toons.
i just cant imagine doing this show without being totally depressed as i do so. and the promoter was like why dont u make it about how bummed u r? does that sound fun to anyone? i haven’t made up my mind though so i’ll leave it up to you. or at least listen to u. if i do this show it becomes an advertisement for an artist and a genre i do not endorse. if i stick to my guns and hold my ground i let down my fans that will now have to drive to denver or boulder to see me. it makes me nautious trying to decide.
and for those of u haters that think im beign a drama queen you have no idea how hard it is to do this.
EDIT: AFTER READING ALL UR COMMENTS I DECIDED TO DO IT. THX FOR HEARING ME OUT.
