when i lived in a brownstone called the souse house in jersey city, crash team bandicoot was the game to play. mario kart was fun, but i think my friends and i liked ctr waaaaay better (still excited for the new kart, now with dirtbikes!)
i got to play a little bit of uncharted when things went all sour, three girls ago last christmas. a fan picked me up to talk politics and play games. his sister’s bf had just gotten a ps3 and uncharted and they unwrapped it and this was the first game we saw on a new console. outside of wallmart etc.
from what i heard, ps3 was bunk and there just werent enough good games. so i waited, and it was hella expensive too, so i waited for that to come down too.
i remember thinking that uncharted looked like the most fin in the history of ever and it looked really good too, not just graphics, but sunsets, waterfalls and wet clothes. it was like prince of persia and gears of war with some tomb raider and indiana jones thrown in. a puzzler with shooting sections, lots of scenery.
i remember that day saved christmas because for the one millionth time i was unlucky in love (hooray for song content!) and in times of need i only need put the bat-fan signal up in the sky and someone will come and pick me up and make me feel better. that’s the kick ass thing about my fans. they’re ready for instructions! the game was awesome, i was free of drama, and i could be myself and relax.
three months later, i finally get to play it and finish the game. naughty dog sent a copy and i kept it in plastic next to my signed copy of gears, waiting for the day my screen would get big and my consoles would go next gen (is 360 next gen?)
i broke in my new tv and ps3 with rainbow six, obviously just a send up to uncharted because i was, as many of you read, disappointed. a lot of you said play rsv2 online and then there were all these articles about even that being fucked up. so i was ready for a good game. i started it up and it looked awesome absolutely beautiful. maybe the main guy’s head was just a smidge too big, and that kinda bobble headed him, but other than that i’ve got few complaints.
no more ragdoll bodies. the hero kinda goes ragdolly though when he dies, but at least the people you cap seem to have some body weight. the best part of the game is a head shot with a smith and wesson and the bad guy does a back flip when you blast him him. these guys are bulletproof too, it seems. each one needs four or five shots unless you’ve got the dragunov or shotgun.
feet touch stairs. it’s like they read my rainbow review and made sure all my qualms were settled. he even kinda trots down stairs side stylie and climbs up two steps at a time.
details, remember what i said about the tire going flat on rsv2, how that thing was all lifeless and blocky. this game was lush. you enter a clearing and a flock of birds flies away, or maybe it’s a brightly colored parrot. you enter a tomb and mice run past ur feet. little things really made it awesome. and there’s treasure to find, all over. too bad you dont actually SEE the treasure. just a twinkle in the corner.
vehicle parts rule. the first one where ur just on the back of a jeep blasting pursuers with a cannon and the drive itself is so awesome and the landscape is so vibrant and the enemies are so well drawn and real. it was maybe my favorite part of the game and i hate games within a game. i just want it to be one thing. i hate the vehicle levels in most games and i never understand why they’re there. but this one made sense, you’re going to different parts of the island that require transportation. might was as well blow up shit while you do it. jetski was tough. it was damn near impossible when you’re goin up stream through rapids with exploding barrels floating down stream. damn you donkey kong.
story. like everyone says it’s like an indiana jones movie, right down the old friend pilot with chomped cigar. there’s a cute girl that i was suspicious of the whole game but maybe that’s me. the bad guys were well drawn out but it seemed to be the same white guy controls minority henchmen scenario. here it seemed a little bit more true to life. the enemies do come off like random mercenaries and quite plausible. and it’s cool that the minorities actually are just using the white boss. sorry that’s a spoiler.
ill be honest the story confused me, the uboat, the curse, the spaniards, who was in the coffin at the end. but it was still fun. when we bust into an old lab, that’s when i was like, this game just became every game, sadly. i hate discovering the old lab where some experiment went horribly wrong. that it’s in every game. dont fuck with science is what the gaming industry is trying to say. (but that pig bladder powder made my finger grow back.) i had a feeling (SPOILER!!!) a monster was gonna show up, well they allude to it with clues etc. when they do show up though it’s hardly lame, in fact it’s awesome, and plausible and it wasnt a drastic shift in story either. it all made sense. and yes it would make a great movie. assassin’s creed would make a LAME movie.
complaints: the end was butt. it became one big cut scene with a lame final showdown that was super easy. given the game they definitely fucked up the climax, it should’ve been a real fight, not just a shooting match. ending it on a ship after being in a jungle the whole game was weak. i dunno. i wanted something more. like maybe when im hangin from the helicopter make that part of the game etc. the end was not good. but the game was great.
the kids in florida at christmas said it was too long. the rumor is, it’s too long, they said. nuh uh. i felt like it could’ve been twice as long with more varied locales. but everything that i saw was pretty beautiful, and i might just go play it again to go find the rest of the treasure.
id like to thank naughty dog, not only for ctr, but for giving me a next gen gaming experience. the bar’s been raised in terms of what a game should be. it should take all technologies and capabilities from all popular games and combine them, so your hero can do pretty much anything, climb sneak drive and kill. it sucks when you play a game with one particular advancement like gears of war grenade throwing and then not have it every game afterwards. or be able to climb over everything one game and just ladders the next.
so good job ndi! and thanks for sending me the free game! how lucky am i that it was one of the best games in recent memory.
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