at first i didnt know what to think. i knew he had cancer and that it was getting worse. but i didnt think it would sneak up like it did, halloween week, the day im in new orleans, the day i vote for obama. i was about to read when i got to the news, the book just stayed open on my lap. sarah would have to wait, i wanted to watch the bayou for a bit and get melancholy. i tried not to be too egocentric in my grief. my heart goes to his wife and son. she has already suffered too much loss. i wish i could be there this week to make her laugh again. sometimes though the joker should stay silent. sometimes it isnt time to laugh. but to cry. he was just three years older than me.
after two hundred comments from the last blog my luck suddenly took a turn for the awesome. oklahoma university was a really fun show. and the university was over a hundred years old so i had a great time taking pics of pics of old people, well young people long ago. every second of the past seems fascinating.
the numbers were up and continued to stay at a decent clip for the rest of texas. the red 7 show was awesome as was the aardvark. i hit on a girl online who dresses up as a storm trooper. i told her i always wanted to make out with a stormtrooper mask on. she proceeds to bring her parents and be seventeen and christian. and wear the stormtrooper suit to the show. i meet the parents and her in the parking lot beforehand. it felt oddly like prom. i immediately focused on dad and we got talkin about star wars and i told him about skywalker ranch and everything seemed to be fine after that. erica got on stage and helped me keep the crowd pumped and dancing for nrrrd grrrl. then the family proceeded to invite us to breakfast and they made a check out to cf. we went to breakfast.
the mom was dead set on me marrying her daughter. the family had discussed it and had all agreed. therefore mom decided to grill me and what better time than while giving me a haircut. there was a barber chair in between the kitchen and tv rooms. while i was getting shampooed and was at her mercy i got the third degree? are you a pedophile? are you gay? why are you single? lady i dont know i just came for the eggs!
we got some kind of mega uber breakfast caserole that erica made. it had tater tots, peppers, mushrooms, shredded cheese. we all debated whether or not there was egg in it on the ride to austin. but like i said the mother was all gung ho about me marrying her very cute christian daughter. i brought my being twice her age up and she was like we discussed it. it’s not a problem.
oh and there were two giant bowls of candy that i tried not to eat out of. and they also provided fruit salad, biscuits with gravy and bacon. they sent the leftovers with us with tupperware from this giant mountain of tupperware they had under the counter. we ate all the biscuits and bacon on the drive. erica and i signed eachother’s advairs, her mother asked me to take erica to japan this summer. i mean cmon.
then we went to austin, kicked ass and saw honey i shrunk the kids with all three roger rabbit cartoons. the popcorn was beyond awesome perfect in every way but i only had a little bit. fans have been beyond awesome and support online and off has been beyond kind. a guy came up and said im sorry you’re so bummed out. and i was like oh that blog? that’s like a shit i took. when i get all stressed out i just get it out on the blog. it’s good for business, keeps me connected to my audience and helps me blow off steam. but it’s not my permamood. in between blogs i experience all kinds of highs and lows. currently though sales are up, the shows are way more fun. california was just a bum out. well except san luis obispo. im thinking we skip so cal if i tour again head south via colorado and vegas.
thanks to everyone that wrote. in the next few days if not hours expect blogs on rick moranis, zak and miri in huntington this friday and the crisis con show on saturday. we need mc fan support all weekend so let us know where you’ll be and how you can help! even if it’s just, wanna see fallout 3 and hangout? i’ve been lucky enough to see dead space played. im seriously out of the loop. so many games. fable 2 looks like disney dark.
thanks to my amazing crew for getting us where we need to be everyday. sully and anthony rule. they keep me positive and light hearted. and we laugh until we cry almost everyday. if you see either of them tell them thanks for making tour so stress free for mc. if you see sully at the merch table, he’s bald, call him a crumb bum cuz that’s what he is.
thanks to totally michael who’s car broke down while he was at cmj. he got a new car and isnt giving up. there are bets on how long he will last.
thanks to you guys for all offering your friendship. we are all friends and family on this earth and i look at all of you with love and approval. i was talking about close friends. the ones we only have a few of. i just miss having peers i can peer my peepers at. i have loads of great friends in new york. all my punk rock friends, john and curtis and some folks at the ucb. i could call tons of folks and have stuff to do, i guess i was just lamenting not getting any calls. the gripe of the guy who’s always gone. i think people just dont think im home. and sometimes when im home i can be a hermit. all errors originate it with me is like my new mantra. i can be a sad sack or take control.
i defend having problems because i know we all have them and i think they are all valid. rich people kill themselves just like poor people do. i think it’s good to let it out and vent in public so people can see that expressing yourself is not a crime and it actually makes life tolerable. being yourself has the same effect. especially when done to the fullest extent.
things are looking up. yes there are hanging effigies of barack obama at kentucky university and the numbers are slighty thinner than usual, but my average numbers kick ass and i will be fine. and barack will be president. im voting for him tonight on stage in new orleans. how appropriate.
thanks though for having my back. i feel like im rapping things up and appreciating everything in a whole new way. even the thanks for add’s that i delete. like one day i wont be getting these requests and wasnt it awesome that i ever got them in the first place.
ps. if you get kicked out of outdoor world arent you still in outdoor world?
pps. panties with peanuts characters on them is my new weak spot.
pps. i miss you terrin, why is there cancer?
PLEASE REPLY IN BLOG AND TELL ME HOW YOU DEAL WITH GRIEF. CUZ IM KINDA CLUELESS AT IT. WHY HAVENT I CRIED YET?
