ive been going a little insane because ive been grinding my teeth. which fucked up some dental work which is much loot to fix. and the dentist was like no more sugar. no tomato sauce, no fruit, no juice, definitely no candy or sweets. now, im an alcoholic who’s almost four years sober, to take away the joy of candy and sweets killed me. i literally freaked out and acted like this for a day:
then i chilled out and now im back to no sweets and artificial sweetners. but for a second there i felt like life was becoming more and more bleak as i got older. i read online that the best thing to do is get off needing the sugar fix by avoiding artificial sweetners as well as sugar and corn syrup and ingredients that end in “ol” i use splenda when i can help it, but aspertame is SOOOO good. its my new sugar. and it’s a carcinogen, and my dad just had cancer and scarfs down the aspertame nonstop. so i dont know if this is some sort of pathological self destructive behavior on my part. i just want to have a clear head and not crave anything. i also have to the say that the dentist was a jerk and his helper dentist was painful, made me cry. they totally were like awful and scary caricatures of people. it was a major creepout. enough for me to start flossing every day like a maniac. and it is true once you start flossing, your gums toughen up and it’s no biggie. i have another appointment in the chair on monday.
the european lady in the mask that made me cry said she had to dig below my gum line. this is before they can repair my fillings (1500 without insurance) and then give me a bite guard for when i sleep. let it be noted that i didnt grind my teeth before i dated the model. if you want to keep your teeth dont date a model. she had a bite guard and grinded her teeth. now i do. wtf.
i think i was and now am grinding because i was stressed about my dad and about being lied to for a month and half, it was also about regretting what i had done, it was about losing the girl i had dated all winter, the one that was honest and really loved me. well the good news is that the good one and i are talking again and my jaw is unclenching. oh and my dad is ok, safe at home and healin up, sounds normal on the phone. i’ll be spending his birthday with him in virginia. im gonna hit up king’s dominion while im there i think. see some harry potter. im learning how to relax about food. im getting better about diet and hygiene. i dont wanna lose my sweets. life is like a bran muffin without them. i met with two lit agents on my book, got the cartoon started, restocked my store, finished writing one record, started on another. im a busy guy, but only because im crazy and i need to be doing one million things to take my mind of sugar. everything catches up with you.
PLEASE COMMENT BELOW WITH YOUR FAVORITE SWEET OR LEAST FAVORITE TRIP TO THE DENTIST.
